Gambling tips for winners
Nothing makes you feel like a winner like gambling. Every time I feel down (and there aren't any kids to yell at), gambling cheers me up. Here are some tips to keep in mind on your way to becoming a high roller (or one of those depressing gimps who pisses away their life fortune playing shitty slot machines)
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The best game to play is roulette because the ratio of blue-haired women with lunch-lady arms to semi-boner inducing (but still nasty) chain smoker chicks is lower. Winning in roulette is easy, just remember the following simple rule:
Always bet 17.
When playing roulette, each player is given a different color of chip so bets aren't confused with other players. If you get the pink or red colored chips, you're a loser automatically. The best color for chips is green. If you can't play green, then forget about it because you're just going to get pissed off.
1. You win. In the unlikely event that you win, you'll soon realize that even if you "hit it big," that you won't enjoy any of the money you get because your jackass friends will keep hitting you up for cash, and even if they don't, there's nothing worth buying anyway.2. You lose: your life in a nut shell.That's it. There's nothing more to slot machines. As soon as you win and lose, you will have experienced every possibility that this game has to offer (except for the occasional malfunction, in which case you have to wait around for one of the hardass floor managers to grace you with their presence).